CONFESSION: I have contemplated many times to do the most selfish thing a person could do.
For most of my life, I struggled with depression, anxiety and learning disabilities that made me feel awful 90% of the time. I lived in constant fight or flight from early childhood traumas that were never properly resolved. way I chose to cope with these struggles took me down the wrong roads a few too many times. I became a party girl, avoiding the healing journey I needed to be on that would turn my past hurts into a value to who I am today. I saw that mountain I had to climb, overwhelmed, I ran back to what was comfortable and easy; avoidance, “checked out” and partying.
Though, it was easy, it was not fulfilling for even a moment. This went on for years, the tears became worse and more frequent, my skin got worse, going to bed at night turned into panic that I might not sleep…again, I didn’t like going to the grocery store because anxiety would kick in and the unnecessary anger towards the ones I loved. Breaks my heart to think of how I’ve acted.
EFFORTS: I began with many years of counselling, nutritional therapies, read every self help book I could get my hands on. Still, I cried daily. Nothing worked. I was losing hope and ready to give up. I was so tired of feeling this way and I felt I had tried everything.
NOW: I did not give up. It took time, patience and belief that there would be better life ahead. I look back and thank myself for making the effort to work on my past hurts, to let go and forgive. More importantly, I forgave myself for the mistakes I made and the people I hurt along the way coping with the emotional pain.
Life has taken many turns since the beginning of this healing journey, especially the past 3 years but 1 year ago I decided to jump with both feet in and follow my dreams. The universe responded. I fell a few times, but I have not given up and will keep going. I will always keep going. Trusting and believing.
My wish is to help others find their belief, hope and happiness too. The work I do brings many people through my office doors that struggle daily like I once did. I feel blessed to be apart of their journey.
Don’t give up!!!